rape victim

THE MISDEED – RAPE CULTURE AND SEXUAL ABUSE

Sexual abuse and Rape remains one of the most socially awkward topic of conversation. Rape is fourth most common crime against women in India. According to National Crime Bureau (NCBR)2018 annual report 33,356 cases were reported across India in 2018 . Many rapes go unreported . The willingness to report rape has increased in recent years . When several incidents of rape received widespread media attention and triggered public protest. This lead the Indian Government to reform its penal code for crime of rape and sexual abuse

It is a sad, awful and devastating fact that effects the life of every person irrespective of gender. Today i am here to open the conversation and reduce the taboo that effects so many people. Whenever we talk about rape there are always some people who will say we get it, we get that rape is wrong. We understand you, we will not rape, we are not the part of problem. They say real problem are those uneducated people, real problem are rapists. You need to convince the rapist that rape is wrong then only you will solve the problem of rape

rape is a crime
Source – Internet

When we try to solve the problem of rape we ask ourselves two questions

  1. Why does rape occur?
  2. How rape is wrong?

Why does rape occur?

When we ask questions like why does rape occur ? People tend to say rape occur when a man probably poor and uneducated comes across a girl . Who is probably wearing short clothes from a city, outside late at night. He sees her and he rapes her. It’s important that this girl is under western influence. In India we link rape to cultural infiltration and presence of west.

Different rapists commit rape for different reasons, and any rapist may rape for different reasons at different times. Thus, no one theory can explain Why most men do not rape , why some women rape men. Why rape occurs in gay and lesbian relationships in which both people have experienced similar gender role socialization. Individual differences are also important.

Why rape is wrong?

When i ask people why rape is wrong. They say rape is wrong because it violate honour, dignity, and respect of women, their community and their family. Recently i saw a video asking men if they will marry a rape victim or not and many said no.

Below are some reasons people think leads to rape .

Violation of gender norms

If you think problem of rape is violation of gender norms .Women should be protected and they aren’t protected enough. And we end up responding by protecting women more , by telling them to stay home.

If you think men should protect women and they are not protecting enough and its leading to rape. Then this is the obvious problem. why? Because women need to be protected . She is literally subjected to whims of any man that come in her way. The man has to choose whether he is a protector or a violator the women has no say. Why she needs to be protected? Because you can’t create a safe society for her . So you are the reason , she is not.

Violation of cultural boundaries

If you think rape is caused by Violation of culture boundaries. It happens because of increase in Western influence, increase in cultural degradation and moral degradation .

The Pune-based Equal Community Foundation engages with teenage boys from low-income households on gender issues. “Most of these boys believe that girls in Western clothes are immoral, and that they can be harassed because they are asking for it,” 

dress is not problem of rape
Source – Internet

People usually think it inappropriate to wear western clothing. Are they showing anymore skin you would show if you wear a saree or a salwar kameez. In fact when you wear saree you are showing more skin than jeans and a top . It’s inappropriate not because you are showing skin that makes you more sexually attracted but because its deemed culturally inappropriate. So, here you are again wrong.

Rape is about sex

This is really disgusting myth which needs to be busted . Lots of people tend to think legalizing sex work will take care of male sexual frustratio. They think this will leads to reduce in rape crime . You know what , India is a country where sex work is legal. We still have terrible rape crime because rape is not about sex.

Rape is a symptom of much larger social disease. It is a product of power imbalance, imbalance of gender, class, political and religious identity. If your solutions to rape are nested in those power structures. If you are solving the problem by strengthening these power structures then you are part of problem.

Problem of Honour

If you think rape is a problem of honour . Then you also think debate around the rape of sex workers is legitimate debate . As they are already engage in sexual activities that we say is inappropriate for women . So, they don’t have that much honour so they can’t be raped.

If woman is already sexually active then she is already violating the cultural boundaries.
If you think rape is a problem of honour then you also think it’s ok to use rape as a punishment.

There is a case of sexual violence against women in West Bengal village . In which some people ordered the gang rape of a 20-year-old woman .And the crime was “falling in love” with a man from another community.
There’s another case in 2015 where a 24-year-old woman was gang-raped as punishment for her brother’s act of adultery.

honour is not a problem of rape
Source – Internet

They also think rape is wrong but still they order for gang rape of a girl. To punish her family, her community, her brother because it’s possible to get through an entire network by raping one woman. They are doing it because they agree like you and me that rape is wrong

You tell your daughters not to be raped instead of telling your sons not to rape. You think rape occur because of violation of female boundaries .

I am beautiful
Is it a crime?
Think of your mother
Did she raised you for this?
Think of your sister
Did she tied you rakhi for this?
How unfortunate is your mother, she raised a son like you
You murdered me even without killing me.
stop violence stop rape
Source – Internet

Rape is not violation of honour or dignity. Rape is the Violation of an individuals right to bodily integrity and autonomy. If you think of rape this way previous reasons becomes Ridiculous and ineffective.

If you think like this you are not gonna tell women not to wear western clothing because that is also violation of autonomy.

Then you won’t prevent consensual couples from displaying affection . As consent is opposite of violation of individuals bodily integrity and autonomy.

It’s important to understand why rape is wrong. Just thinking rape is wrong and stopping the conversation their might actually make you part of problem

You don’t have to be rapist to be a part of problem . Thinking rape is wrong for the wrong reasons still makes you part of problem

It matters why you think rape is wrong

Do check my other blogs https://unbridlemusing.com/my-philosophy-of-stable-happiness

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